I Blame @AnnaLandin For This

So Anna drew this for #rpgweek and invited people to draw themselves. I can only draw with words, so this is what I came up with. It made me cackle endlessly.

I shamelessly borrowed RPG!Anna and gave her a little history. Enjoy!

The woman strode through the streets, a simple sword hefted on her shoulder. A little boy ran from his mother's stall to gawk at her clothing. She stared at him, dressed in scruffy pants and suspenders.

"Your boots are brown!"

"I suppose they are, at that," she said, not letting the boy distract her from her errand. "You might do well to wear your own shoes."

"Wow, does the kerchief make your voice sound so weird?"

"I couldn't say," she said. The boy missed the sarcasm.

"Why are you wearing that bodysuit under the other stuff?"

"For comfort," she said. "Hadn't you best return to your mother?"

"Can I look at your sword?"

This apppeared to be the breaking point for the woman. Without breaking stride she swung her sword down. The mother shrieked, but the boy didn't move, too stupid to realise the danger. The sword hooked through the boy's suspenders and she lifted him into the air, walking over to the mother's stall.

"I believe this belongs to you," she said. "Now. Can you tell me where I may find…" She paused and leaned in. "Where I may find the devil woman?"


"I am Anna of the Western Landins," Anna said. "I am looking for companions to share in a journey. I was told that Dianna of the Island Bells could be found here."

The blonde woman nodded. "Acknowledged." She turned back to her stitching; Anna noted it was some sort of heavy cloth. The silence stretched into minutes, each second ticked off by a set of five metal balls colliding back and forth.

"You heard me, right?"

"I did."

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I did."

"All I heard was 'acknowledged'."

Silence resumed again, the set of balls keeping time.

Anna slammed her sword into the floor after counting off a thousand collisions. "By the gods, would you talk to me?"

"In any set of five there will be two and three."

Anna stared at the blonde woman, wondering if anyone would mind if she beheaded the woman. "You are Dianna of the Island Bells?"


"Why didn't you say so?"

Dianna looked at Anna, her face implacable. "Did you ask?"

Anna tightened her grip on her sword. "I think I would like you to join me on a journey. Are you trained in such abilities as would be useful?"

"I am."

Anna exhaled. "What are they?"

"I know how to defend myself with two daggers and with a bow and arrow as well. I can cook and hunt and build a fire as well. I am capable of carrying supplies and such like up to seventy pounds."

"Is it true you manipulate chance?"

"Not exactly."

"The stories claim you do."

Silence again.

Realising her mistake, Anna gritted her teeth. "If you do not manipulate chance, then how else are the stories explained? It is said that you won a skyship with one of the worst card draws seen in many a year. If that was not manipulation of chance, then what was it?"

"It was manipulation of chance."

"But you just said it wasn't true!"

Dianna went back to her stitching.

"You are the most impossible, infuriating girl I have ever met!"

Dianna kept stitching, the seam closing up.

Anna shrieked and swung her sword, arcing it towards Dianna's neck.

The chair beneath Dianna shattered, dropping the woman beneath the swing of the blade. Startled, Anna lost her grip on the sword, sending it flying into the wall shelves, where it shattered.


The metal shards dropped to the ground, instead of burying themselves in Anna's flesh.

"What just happened?" Anna said, a little frightened and somewhat awed.

"You swung a sword at my neck. I manipulated chance for a chaotic outcome. It's what I do."

Anna stared at the remains of her sword. "I kind of needed that sword."

Dianna finished her stitching and left the room. Anna gathered up the metal pieces of her sword, thinking.

"Could you manipulate the chances of me fixing my sword so that I could… well, fix my sword?" she said once she heard Dianna reenter.


Anna looked at the pieces of her sword, trying to fit them back together. Nothing she did quite seemed to be the right thing and she sighed, throwing them down.

"I thought you were going to help me fix my sword. Why didn't you?"

"You didn't ask."

"I did ask!"

"You may believe so; in actual fact you did not."

"Do you have to have to say everything in that flat voice?"


"Would it kill you then to put some emotion into it?"


"…you're not going to, are you?"

"At present time, no."

Anna groaned and stormed out the door.


Anna made it halfway to the mother's stall before she noticed that everyone had pressed themselves up against walls. She looked around, seeing nothing that seemed the least bit frightening. Then she remembered Dianna and turned, her jaw dropping.

A bitchin' sword was slung over her shoulder, the pommel wrapped in red, the blade bluish-silver. A gloved hand kept hold of the sword; a glove that went all the way to the elbow.

"By the gods, what are you wearing?"

"Knee-length boots. A green corset—"


Dianna nodded and walked up to meet her, extending the sword. "Take it."

Anna took the sword, wondering what had possessed her to ask this girl to join her.

Free of the sword, Dianna adjusted her skirt and belt, her daggers holstered at each side, her bow in her hand.

"If you're going to wear that… I am not patching you up when you get injured."


Anna sighed, turned around and marched off to the port.

Dianna followed, watching Anna. One day, the girl might ask why she had thought to come here, to seek out a 'devil woman'. But until that day… there was no need to tell Anna that she'd manipulated chances for a chaotic outcome.

Anna had enough reasons to kill her already.


2 Responses to “I Blame @AnnaLandin For This”

  1. Anna says:

    This? This is kind of amazing! XD I love how much you got out of one picture of mine.

    It's also nothing like how I imagined my RPG-self, but it's so much fun to see what other people come up with based on my stuff.

    I also like RPG-you. Very sphinx-like!

    Also fun? The body-suit comment. It's maybe not clear in the picture, but I'm not wearing a body suit – it's a jacket on top of a waistcoat on top of a shirt and a pair of trousers; the shirt and the trousers are just the same colour. But the body-suit thing is still fun, because in real life, I wear longjohns quite a lot (Sweden is a cold country, and I hate being cold) – and RPG-me would probably wear the RPG-version of thermal underwear. 😀

    • Dianna says:

      The way I talk in here is modelled after an old D&D character of mine; I have ALWAYS loved the way that character spoke and I just know my RPG-self would totally speak that way.

      Mmm… I did try to get your clothing right, but I didn't see the distinct pieces, sadly enough. Partly because the shirt is covered by your vest garment… but oh well.

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